I was thirsty, so on my way to my room I grabbed a plastic cup and filled it with water from a water fountain near my room. I was sipping it as I walked in to my room. I looked at my roommate’s bed as I walked in, his eyes were closed and he was turned over, so I proceeded to get undressed. I set my water on my dresser.
“You’re going to need that water where you’re going,” my roommate mumbled.
“What?” I turned to look at him.
“I said, you’re going to need the water.”
“Where am I going where I’m going to need water?” Life was weird enough as it is, I don’t need bizarre warnings from a crazy old man.
“You just haven’t figured it out yet, have you, Child?” He turned to look at me. His stare creeped me out. I turned my back to him, wondering what the hell was going on. Listen. Oh boy, I need help. “What do you think you’re DOING here?” he asked.
“I’m just getting straightened out,” I said, without an ounce of confidence in my voice. What the hell else was I going to say?
Tell the truth.
Oh my God, this is getting too weird.
“No, you’re not getting straightened out. You’re learning a lesson. You’re learning to live in your box. The way you got in here was because you were not living in your box. You were beginning to branch out of your box. So you were brought here.” He was speaking in a very kind and gentle way now. Nothing like the crazed lunatic of earlier. He was packed in to his bed, with his covers pulled way up to his chin. He was speaking to me like I was a little child.
“My box…..what do you mean by that?” I sat down on my bed and looked at my roommate, whose name I still didn’t know.
“In life, as children, we are taught that there are things that we can do and that there are things that we can’t. The older we get, the more things we can’t do. By the time we’re about 18 or so, we believe that there’s a certain pattern our life must follow and that there are certain boundaries to this pattern. People end up in this hospital because they either decide, or are compelled to, change the pattern and break the boundaries.” He smiled. It was amazing, he was a completely different person.
“So how does the box fit in?”
“How old were you when you were first told that you would eventually die?”
“I have no idea.”
“It happened to you at some point, though, you agree to that?”
“Well……yes.” I was dying to know what his angle was, and what had caused his massive personality switch. He continued.
“Once you find that out, from that moment on, you are constantly telling yourself that you are going to end up in a box eventually, your eternal box, your casket. You are convinced you will end up there. The way YOU got in to this hospital was because you either chose to get out of that box, or something forced you out of it. And the point of this hospital is to put you back in to it so you can be like every other random soul out there.” His face was sad now. I had a question though.
“Where am I going where I will need the water?”
“Carry water with you all the time because….,” his speech trailed off. His eyes rolled back in to his head and his body began to convulse. I ran over to the door and screamed for help. Thomas came running in, followed by a nurse. They began to do CPR on my roommate, but he didn’t respond. Thomas pushed me out of the room and told me to wait in the TV room. I walked there slowly, my roommate’s words still fresh in my mind. I sat down on one of the couches and let my mind drift. I was asleep within a few minutes.
Kevin.
What?
Why aren’t you listening?
Listening to what?
Listening to me.
I do listen to you, all the time. In fact, I can’t seem to get rid of you.
Why do you think that is?
I’m bipolar.
Kevin, c’mon now.
C’mon where? I’ve been told that for years now.
We’re gonna get you a refresher course in existence.
I don’t want one.
You don’t want Christian?
What….? What?
Silence.
GODDAMMIT! TALK TO ME!
“You’re going to need that water where you’re going,” my roommate mumbled.
“What?” I turned to look at him.
“I said, you’re going to need the water.”
“Where am I going where I’m going to need water?” Life was weird enough as it is, I don’t need bizarre warnings from a crazy old man.
“You just haven’t figured it out yet, have you, Child?” He turned to look at me. His stare creeped me out. I turned my back to him, wondering what the hell was going on. Listen. Oh boy, I need help. “What do you think you’re DOING here?” he asked.
“I’m just getting straightened out,” I said, without an ounce of confidence in my voice. What the hell else was I going to say?
Tell the truth.
Oh my God, this is getting too weird.
“No, you’re not getting straightened out. You’re learning a lesson. You’re learning to live in your box. The way you got in here was because you were not living in your box. You were beginning to branch out of your box. So you were brought here.” He was speaking in a very kind and gentle way now. Nothing like the crazed lunatic of earlier. He was packed in to his bed, with his covers pulled way up to his chin. He was speaking to me like I was a little child.
“My box…..what do you mean by that?” I sat down on my bed and looked at my roommate, whose name I still didn’t know.
“In life, as children, we are taught that there are things that we can do and that there are things that we can’t. The older we get, the more things we can’t do. By the time we’re about 18 or so, we believe that there’s a certain pattern our life must follow and that there are certain boundaries to this pattern. People end up in this hospital because they either decide, or are compelled to, change the pattern and break the boundaries.” He smiled. It was amazing, he was a completely different person.
“So how does the box fit in?”
“How old were you when you were first told that you would eventually die?”
“I have no idea.”
“It happened to you at some point, though, you agree to that?”
“Well……yes.” I was dying to know what his angle was, and what had caused his massive personality switch. He continued.
“Once you find that out, from that moment on, you are constantly telling yourself that you are going to end up in a box eventually, your eternal box, your casket. You are convinced you will end up there. The way YOU got in to this hospital was because you either chose to get out of that box, or something forced you out of it. And the point of this hospital is to put you back in to it so you can be like every other random soul out there.” His face was sad now. I had a question though.
“Where am I going where I will need the water?”
“Carry water with you all the time because….,” his speech trailed off. His eyes rolled back in to his head and his body began to convulse. I ran over to the door and screamed for help. Thomas came running in, followed by a nurse. They began to do CPR on my roommate, but he didn’t respond. Thomas pushed me out of the room and told me to wait in the TV room. I walked there slowly, my roommate’s words still fresh in my mind. I sat down on one of the couches and let my mind drift. I was asleep within a few minutes.
Kevin.
What?
Why aren’t you listening?
Listening to what?
Listening to me.
I do listen to you, all the time. In fact, I can’t seem to get rid of you.
Why do you think that is?
I’m bipolar.
Kevin, c’mon now.
C’mon where? I’ve been told that for years now.
We’re gonna get you a refresher course in existence.
I don’t want one.
You don’t want Christian?
What….? What?
Silence.
GODDAMMIT! TALK TO ME!